God Wants You To Know

There is an application on Facebook called “God Wants You To Know.”  Basically this application sends you little things daily that are “messages from God” and you can choose to read them or not, post them to your profile or not.  Sometimes they are really general and seem fluffy and sometimes they can hit you in the gut at the most appropriate moments. 

Just a few days after my first surgery appointment regarding my lump I got the message “God wants you to know… that it’s OK.  Just rest for a moment. It's OK. Yes, things are crazy, yes, the world is going nuts. Yet, deep underneath the stormy waves, there, in the core of your being, there is... pure silence, pure love. And… it's… just… OK.” And it is ok.  I’ve had my moments of anxiety, worry, sadness… through it all I knew and still know that I will be ok.

The day before I was diagnosed, my message was: “Christina got a message that on this day, God wants her to know… that faith is exactly what it takes to get through uncertainty. Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, that's knowledge. It's in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it's all darkness outside. Now is the time to keep that faith alive!”  My life was one big uncertainty at that point and has been now for the last 5 months.  As small as my light has gotten at points through this I believe that there is a reason for what I'm going through of course I don’t know what it is yet…

Yesterday, my message was “Christina got a message that on this day, God wants her to know… that your only real sin is not seeing God in everything you see. You think this is good so it comes from God; this is bad so it comes from devil. Forgetting that it was God who created everything in the first place, and that all of God's creations are perfect. And it was the devil who made you think of good and bad, made you doubt God's perfection. Look around yourself right now to see through your judgments the Divine in every little thing around you.”  This one hit me because I have been talking about this with several people over the past weeks.  Most recently I talked with my room mate Christy at the cancer retreat about doing gratitude journals.  During that weekend we were often asked to stop and notice the smaller things that sometimes get forgotten in the midst of a bigger crisis.  The past couple days have been pretty low for me and this idea had been all but forgotten.  I think its time to put this idea into practice…