Since Friday I've been dwelling in my head a bit too much. I had some extra time and did some cancer research and found all these scary statistics on thyroid cancer patients who get a 2nd type of cancer (usually melanoma or breast cancer) within 5yrs of their thyca diagnosis. I was starting to get that certain type of anxiety all over again and was really just getting into a kind of funk.
Today I was emailing with my
dearest friend sister from another mother and she said “Most important thing is that you are doing good and that you are even walking again! Could you have imagined that 6 months ago?”
6 Months ago I was radioactive – literally! I had radiation sickness and was in isolation from everyone and everything. My body and mind was weakened from the surgery & newfound allergy to vicodin, the big scary cancer diagnosis, another surgery, postop calcium depletion, radiation, possible lung mets… quite simply put, I was a hot mess! It was in the midst of all of this that I tried 5 miles with my friends and then collapsed from fatigue for the next 7 days… 6 months ago I felt like I would never be normal again.
Today I did 5 miles and that makes a total of 15 miles in the last 6 days and I feel GOOD. I feel a normal sort of tired and not the utter exhaustion of the previous year. More importantly I'm starting to feel like I can have a semi-normal life again.
Will cancer ever be far from my mind? Most definitely not! But its only because of wonderful friends that I stop my cancer panic attacks and regain my perspective on just how far I have come from the moment of my diagnosis.