7.17.2009

Abandonment

The word "cancer" is synonymous with the words death and dying in our culture. You can imagine then, when you are told you have cancer it can play a number on your head even if your prognosis is good. You are suddenly forced to stop and really consider the what ifs... Being 30yrs you are usually thinking about your career, family, friends... not facing a deadly serious illness. You lose control of your life not matter how hard you try to stay in control because cancer takes the forefront, filling your life with appointments, labwork, scans, treatments, naps... Suddenly you aren't making plans around your schedule, you are making plans around cancer's schedule.

But what happens when you really need to take a mental break from it all? Who can you talk to openly and honestly without feeling like you have to constantly be strong and positive? Who can really understand and know where you are coming from? Can your friends handle hearing it all without telling you to stay positive? Because sometimes you just need to get it out there without the added pressure of pretending things are completely fine.

What about those people in your life who just can't seem to deal with your illness at all? The ones that ignore the topic or change the subject when you bring it up. The ones who can't be around you, making you feel even more isolated. The ones who cut off all contact completely... Can you continue to make room for them in your life or truly call someone a friend after that? It doesn't matter what you have been there to support them through, they can't or don't want to deal with helping you through your illness.

Amazingly, you become abandoned by some of the people you cared about the most.

2 comments:

  1. I know I don't know you that well, but I am really sorry that you are going thru this. I know this isn't the same but I was just diagnosed with Hypothyroidism....and then when I read about your situation...I thought that could be me....
    I am praying for you. Just keep your head up...
    and it seems that those that can't handle your situation can not truely be your friend. If they loved and cared for you, they would stick with you thru anything. Just my opinion!
    HUGS

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Jaime! And if you ever have any questions about hypothyroidism, i'm quickly becoming an expert on all things thyroid related... have a few books on the subject even! :) Hugs back!

    ReplyDelete

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