Making Some Changes

I know I’m behind in Mads monthly updates… she’s 14 months old and so completely adorable and BUSY!  This means mommy is busier too of course.  Part of me wants to keep this blog updated but part of me is ready to move on. 
I originally started Butterfly Lights to process my thoughts as I went through thyroid cancer.  This year marks 5 years cancer free.  It’s a significant point for any survivor to be sure. This place helped me process my emotions these 5 years and has always been a more personal, diary-type space for me.  But 5 years cancer free means the original motivation for this space isn’t on the forefront of my mind.  My focus and priorities have changed drastically over this time. There are still thoughts I could write but I feel like the focus of the blog has become muddled and so I’m taking a break from this space.
I am starting fresh with new focus and passions in a completely new place.  This new blog will be about our family journey to get out of debt, family life, frugal living, recipes, crafts and general mom life.  Introducing….
It’s new and small but I hope that Pecans & Magnolias will grow and evolve as our family does.  So come on over and follow the Wee family as we find our way!  You can also check us out on Facebook.  I would love to have you as a new reader over there and hope you will stick around for the occasional post here.
All my love…
C

{Belated} Birthday Update: 9 Months

Birth Deets: 21.5in, 8lbs 12oz 
6 month Deets: 16lbs 7oz, 26.5 inches
Height: 28 inches 
Weight: 17lbs 7 oz
Nicknames: Maddie, Miss Me, babydoll, Little Baby Wee, Silly Wee, Mads, Knot Head

~~ Apologies for the picture heavy post – we had a busy month!~~

Exciting Events: Aside from her little stint in the hospital, Mid March to Mid April was pretty busy!  The weather was nicer and we’ve been spending more and more time outside.  She loves to ride in the wagon at Granny’s house and to get pushed in the swings.  Maddie made her second road trip to Michigan and we discovered she still really hates driving at night!  But even though the trip was long and stressful, it was worth being there for Great Grandpa’s 90th birthday (which also happened to be Maddie’s 9 month birthday!).  She also celebrated Mommy’s birthday and Auntie Katie’s birthday with her first trip to a Japanese steakhouse, Shang Hai Ichiban.  I’m sure it won’t be her last!  She loves sharing Mommy & Daddy’s meals and has tried a little bit of everything it seems!  Some of her new favorite foods include: Vietnamese pho, soba noodles, guacamole, black beans and the Southern breakfast standards of scrambled eggs and biscuits and gravy!  While in Michigan we also visited a butterfly exhibit at Meijer Gardens, celebrated Easter and went on an Easter egg hunt, and went to a petting zoo called The Critter Barn.  Mads is really becoming an animal lover.  She still loves our cat but has also made friends with the neighbor’s horse as well as a few dogs in the area. She even loves the ants and bees in our yard which makes Mommy a nervous wreck! Ants seem to look like a yummy food source at the moment and bees.. .well I think their lazy buzzing just has her fascinated in general.  Possibly the most exciting news is that Maddie’s spasms have nearly completely vanished!  It is really an answer to prayers and our baby girl has been deemed completely healthy by her neurologist!
What She Does: Well it’s been an exciting month of developments in this area too!  In addition to pulling herself up to a standing position, Maddie decided that standing without help was no big deal at all!  She hasn’t tried to take any steps without holding on to something or someone though. She also started crawling backward a bit but mostly still rolls to her desired location. Her mouth is full of… NO TEETH!  Yup, she’s still just got pink little gums so I think she’s taking after Mommy and won’t get her teeth until closer to her first birthday!  She says “mom” and “dad” and “yeah”… she also shocked her pediatrician when she said “bye” and waved goodbye as our appointment ended!  She loves to wave at people as they leave but has become a bit more shy around strangers.  These days she’s more likely to bury her head in Mommy’s shoulder than to grace them with her toothy little grin.

Myonical Bionical

Sooo…. We had a bit of a scare here recently… 

Miss Maddie-Me has been hitting all her milestones just peachy but about a week and a half ago I noticed she would do something odd.  At random moments her arms would stiffen and shoot out into the air or her whole body would stiffen and jerk back.  It just wasn’t “normal” looking behavior and had us concerned enough to try to catch it on video to show to our doctor.  We had our doctor and another doctor look at it and while there was a range of possible diagnoses, the one that kept coming up was “infantile spasms.” 

If you aren’t familiar with the term “infantile spasms,” you might be shocked at just how serious this seemingly innocuous sounding problem really is.  We took to Google and were subsequently terrified at what we might possibly be facing.

Our next step was to get an EEG for Little Miss so we waited for the call from scheduling.  Meanwhile, it was the weekend, and Maddie had an episode that lasted far longer than before and seemed to be having many more than her “usual.”  We made the decision to drive to our nearest children’s hospital ER that had pediatric neurology services.

We arrived to the busy ER about 2.5 hours away and were in a room and seeing the doctor within 30 minutes. Again, we were told we needed an EEG and they could perform one and have a neurologist see us the next morning… so that’s how Miss Maddie’s first hospital stay was written in the books.

Our EEG was in the morning – it was a traumatic experience for all involved - and we nervously awaited the results.  The neurologist came to see us and the first thing he said was “Her EEG was completely NORMAL.”  I think our first words were “Thank GOD!”  Or at least that’s what I said in my head… He went on to then say he wasn’t exactly sure what we are dealing with but that he is pretty sure it wasn’t in the epilepsy family.  Of course since Mads didn’t have any spasms during the procedure its hard to tell exactly what happens but the “hypsarrythmia” in “infantile spasms” would have shown up if she had that.  Our differential diagnoses currently are: Benign Myoclonus of Early Infancy or Sterotypies.  We think the myoclonus description sounds exactly like what she does. 

So what’s the plan of action?  We have to log any events she has and possibly capture more video and return to the neurologist in May.  Depending on how things are at that point, we might have a 24 hour video EEG ordered. If we notice any regression in her developmental milestones or progression in the severity of her episodes we have to call much sooner.

We would appreciate all your thoughts and prayers as we work to figure out exactly what is going on with our precious little girl!

{Belated} Birthday Update: Eight Months!

Birth Deets: 21.5in, 8lbs 12oz 
6 month Deets: 16lbs 7oz, 26.5 inches
Height: no appt this month
Weight: no appt this month… was 17lb 3oz at a sick visit
Nicknames: Maddie, Miss Me, babydoll, Little Baby Wee, Silly Wee, Mads
Exciting Events: Mid February to mid March wasn’t particularly exciting as winter raged on and we stayed in out of the cold.  Maddie also caught quite a bad cold and proceeded to share it with mommy, daddy and grandma and grandpa H!  Hey… at least we are teaching her to share from a young age?  We did celebrate our very first Saint Patrick’s Day… Miss Maddie is definitely our little pot of gold!  And we had visitors from Michigan!  We did a little sight seeing with them as things started to thaw out around here a bit.  Mads even did her first stint on the AT! This month she tried toast and a few other big people foods straight from the table.  She loves sharing mommy’s oatmeal in the mornings.  We’ve also started Maddie/Mommy time where we spend some time playing and watching a movie (mostly mommy watching a movie and playing with Maddie) but just spending time with “us girls” while daddy gets to watch sports or play a video game or two. One of Maddie’s favorite things in the world is the cat – Tills. She will pull on his tail or his ear or just handfuls of his fur and he just takes it all in stride. She sometimes will be so excited to see him that she will barely touch his fur before bursting into a huge grin and giggles.
What She Does: Maddie can pull herself up to a standing position like its no big deal. Yup, been doing this forever mom!  She doesn’t crawl but will roll or fall forward to get to what she wants.  I think she’s planning to just skip that whole crawling thing and will be walking soon enough! She is already getting good at walking from one place to another while holding on to someone’s hands. She still has no teeth but that doesn’t stop her from gnawing on her toast!  She says “Mom” all.the.time.  Like literally it’s the only thing she says 24-7. Except when she is baby rapping… still hoping to catch that on video because its hilarious. She’s recently picked up on waving and will sometimes display this new knowledge if you are lucky.  And mommy’s favorite new skill… the head hugs!  When Maddie gets super excited to be with you she will press her little noggin against yours really hard and rub it back and forth with a smile on her face. Sometimes she adds grabbing your ears to pull you closer or noshing on your nose for good measure.  Its quite possibly the cutest thing ever! <3

Comparison Shot

Lots of people say Miss M looks like her mommy so I wanted to do a little comparison shot for y’all!

Yes, we are both little cue balls… mommy didn’t have hair until she was a year!  Both have blue eyes and little ears that stick out.  But I think little miss definitely is the cuter of the two baby shots…I may just be a *bit* partial though! 

Happy Friday everyone!
(ps… anyone else notice the scary doll I was playing with?!?)

{Belated} Birthday Update: Seven Months!

Birth Deets: 21.5in, 8lbs 12oz 
6 month Deets: 16lbs 7oz, 26.5 inches
Height: no appt this month
Weight: no appt this month
Nicknames: Maddie, Miss Me, babydoll, Little Baby Wee, Silly Wee, Mads
Exciting Events: As we settled down from Christmas and New Year’s, we settled into the deep freeze that took over this winter. Brrr!   We got out of the house and went to a chocolate festival that benefitted the Make a Wish Foundation, took a weekend trip to Knoxville, and celebrated Maddie’s first Valentine’s Day.  Maddie and mommy baked a cake for Valentine’s day and daddy may or may not have let Maddie have a tiny little bit!  She’s tried quite a few other foods but still prefers her milk. Along with avocado, banana, and applesauce, we have tried… peas, green beans, sweet potatoes, pears, oatmeal.. and I’m sure I’m forgetting something in there.  She pretty much has decided she hates bananas but pears are where its at!  She also loooooves sweet potato!

What She Does: Maddie is still working on becoming mobile.  She will lean forward while sitting and stretch as far as her little body allows but her big noggin tends to pull her over before she can get anywhere.  She will roll and pull herself around her play quilt to get to her favorite toys and sometimes pulls herself up onto her knees but we’ve seen no actual crawling movement yet.  She can also pull herself up to a half standing position if you place something like a remote or cell phone just out of her reach!  She is definitely strong enough to hold herself up in a standing position and takes steps when holding on to your hands.  She still has a silly toothless grin but she faked us out with a tiny white bump that lasted about a day!  She still likes to teethe on anything she can put in her mouth but actually takes drinks from her sippy cup now.

Birthday Update: Six Months!

Birth Deets: 21.5in, 8lbs 12oz 
4 month Deets: 14lbs 2oz, 24.8 inches
Height: 26.5 inches
Weight: 16lbs 7oz
Nicknames: Maddie, Miss Me, Bay, babydoll, Little Wee, Silly Wee, Mads
Exciting Events: This month was really busy!  Besides marking half a year on this earth, Miss M was baptized, took a trip to Michigan and celebrated her very first Christmas!   While in Michigan, she met quite a few relatives for the first time – including great grandma and grandpa K!  She celebrated Christmas and loved opening presents.  Well… she really loved the wrapping paper that she tried to chew on.  She was blessed with way too many toys and more clothes than she can ever possibly wear in the upcoming months – but she will for sure try! It was a whirlwind week long trip and she left with her very first cold… that part wasn’t quite so fun or exciting.  I will say that Nosefrida The Snotsucker Nasal Aspirator was a complete and total lifesaver! Yes, there is a gross out factor involved but really, those little bulb suckers did nothing to help and this allowed her to breathe.  Maddie also took her first bites of real food this month… she’s not too keen on that quite yet though.  So far she’s tried avocadoes, bananas, and homemade applesauce.  Applesauce is her favorite by far!  She usually has 3-5 spoons and is done so her diet really hasn’t expanded past breastmilk all that much but we will be trying out more foods in the coming weeks!
What She Does: Miss M is an experienced sitter now!  She loves to sit and play on the floor and only occasionally topples to one side or the other while reaching for an object. She also loves to stand and will lean against items like footstools or the back of the couch and stand on her own for small stretches of time. She will even take steps across the room while we hold her arms!  Her toes are an endless source of entertainment and more often than not end up in her mouth – totally gross – and socks never last more than a few minutes at a time.  Yes, you can follow us around the grocery store by following the trail of baby socks!  Maddie loves music, and we have found that the piano and drum apps on our tablets are a fun distraction once in a while.  She still has no teeth but she acts like she's teething… oh joy!  She loves chewing on a sippy cup when her teeth really start to bother her.  So far she hasn’t really learned how to drink from the sippy cups but she does get some baby water out on her shirt!

To My Daughter on Her Half Birthday

To my dear sweet daughter....

Today is your six month birthday. I can't believe how much you've grown in such a short amount of time!

Six months ago you were a tiny ball of sleepy jello. You struggled to peep your eyes open at me and could do little more than cry and flail your arms about. I was amazed by your tiny little everything.

But today... Today we played on the floor. You were sitting up and reaching for toys all on your own. You were laughing and smiling and babbling at me.  You hammed it up for my camera and tried to take your own "selfies". You reacted to squeaks and rattles and got excited when we read Peek-a-boo Forest. You stood and walked toward me while hanging on to my fingers.

I'm in awe of the things you've learned in such a short time. Of the strength you have in your tiny little limbs. And most of all, of your ever growing personality. 

I am so lucky to be your mom. I am privileged to watch you grow and learn. I am excited to know that I get to help you discover this world.

You amaze me each and every day and I am so thankful for you, my perfect, precious gift from above.

Happy 6 month birthday my sweet Maddie-me. Mommy loves you so very much!
.

Birthday Update: Five Months!

Birth Deets: 21.5in, 8lbs 12oz 
4 month Deets: 14lbs 2oz, 24.8 inches
Height: ? (next appt 6mo)
Weight: ? (next appt 6mo)
Nicknames: Maddie, Miss Me, Bay, babydoll, Little Wee
Exciting Events: The very first Thanksgiving!! Little Miss attended a small gathering with her mom and dad at grandpa and grandma’s house because a snow and ice storm made the roads getting down from the mountain a bit too treacherous!   Santa came a little early to her house and left her an exersaucer '>(this one!).  She loves it!  Good thing Santa came early because this little contraption is a lifesaver when mommy needs to get things done! We also celebrated daddy’s 40th birthday with a cake we made. 
What She Does: She’s taken to waking up once during the night, generally around 3-4am since mommy started back to work.  That allows us 5-6 hours solid sleep and then a short 1-2hr nap before we wake up… guess that’s not too shabby?  We are waiting until 6months to start solids so for now, mommy will settle with waking just once a night. We hear that many EBF babies continue waking every 2hours and I definitely couldn’t do it! 

We are also still waiting for that first tooth to finally pop.  Poor thing has a chapped chin from all the drooling.  Its seemed to have stepped up a notch in the past few days so we are hopeful the tiny white monster will show soon.  And for those thinking EBF and teeth don’t mix… well she’s already bit because of the teething… not fun!  Miss Maddie is now able to sit unassisted for quite a few seconds!  She generally assumes a tripod like position when she does this but is getting better at balancing every day.  She grabs at most anything and attempts to put it in her mouth even if that thing is twice the size of her head.  Her current favorite toys are an octopus that grandma made out of a ping pong ball and some cotton yarn and an elephant that has 2 different fabrics, a bell inside and crinkly ears. She loves to nap with her '>angel dear owl blankie.  She laughs and squeals and says “mom” and “momma” quite frequently and although she hasn’t picked up on “dada” yet she did say “ohh bah mah” the other day!  Did I give birth to a tiny Dem? I guess only time will tell!

Birthday Update: Four Months!

Ok so this is a few days after Miss M’s birthday but I wanted to wait until after our doctor appointment today!  See? I didn’t forget you all!  So what has little miss been up to?

Birth Deets: 21.5in, 8lbs 12oz 
2month Deets: 11lbs 13oz, 23.5 inches
Height: 24.8 inches
Weight: 14lbs 2oz
Nicknames: Maddie, Miss Me, Bay, babydoll
Exciting Events: Miss M had her very first Halloween!  She went dressed as a zebra one day and a ballerina the next and came home with a very impressive haul for mommy and daddy! Lots of suckers in that haul but hey, we aren’t complaining!  She also went on a trip to Pigeon Forge, TN and ate at Joe’s Crab Shack… well mommy and daddy did.  And probably the biggest thing that happened is… mommy went back to work and little miss is playing with her Grandparents 3 days a week.  More on that…
What She Does: She’s still no longer sleeping through the night and mommy is sleep deprived some nights are a bit rough. Ok, we’ve had it easy up until now and have stocked up on solid 6+ hour stretches of sleep since she was about 6 weeks old but they aren’t kidding when they talk about the Four Month Wakeful Period! She is back to waking up 2-3 times a night for the past couple weeks.  She still prefers standing over sitting, however, she is now able to sit up unassisted for perhaps 5-10 seconds before her noggin topples her over.  We shall soon have a sitter on our hands folks! She always has her hands in her mouth and the drooling is positively disgusting.  Yes, we think she’s working on those little teefers in there!  She will still talk your ear off and this month we have had the joy of hearing her laughing.  It is perhaps the best of her sounds so far.  We hear it most often when she is being tickled or when we are dancing and singing the “no pants dance” or “all the single babies”… songs mommy made up for Maddie’s silly pleasure. She also now cries for me by name… “mama…waaaaahhh….mama…waaaahhhh…mama….” oh joy! 

Birthday Update: Three Months!

Birth Deets: 21.5in, 8lbs 12oz 
Prior Month Deets: 11lbs 13oz, 23.5 inches
Height: ? No doctor’s appointment this month!
Weight: ? No doctor’s appointment this month!
Nicknames: Maddie, Miss Me, kiddo widdo, babydoll
Exciting Events: Let’s see… Miss M met her great grandpa S!  He came down with Grammy and Grampy K specifically to meet Miss Madeline.  If you remember a while back he was quite sick and had been in the hospital most of this year.  It was so great to see him looking so well!  

Also?  Mommy and daddy celebrated their FIRST wedding anniversary! To celebrate we took a trip to Maddie’s very first zoo – in Knoxville - and she spent the night in her very first hotel room! She also saw a bit of Knoxville and ate some PF Changs!
What She Does: She’s still sleeping through the night and we couldn’t be happier with that!  She still prefers standing over sitting and is getting less wobbly at it every day. She holds her upper body up when you carry her but can only sit up by herself for about a second before tipping under the weight of her noggin.  She’s also starting to notice her hands and feet and just the other day tried grabbing her toes with a puzzled look on her face. She’s been talking (cooing) up a storm and has recently started shrieking like a velociraptor.  I swear I’ve heard her say “mama” a few times but never with a witness… until TODAY!  Today she said “MOM” very clearly while I was on the phone with the hubs! He even paused and said “Did she just say mom?!” Yup! My daughter is clearly an intelligence of genius proportions as well as a dollface. 

Happy birthday baby girl… Mommy and Daddy feel so blessed to have you with us!

You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby!

Four years.  Four years.

It’s been exactly four years since I took my I-131 radioactive iodine treatment for my papillary thyroid cancer. My oh my, how my life has changed since then!

I’d like to say I haven’t given cancer another thought since that day, but truth is, I think about it every day. Every morning I wake up and take my thyroid replacement pill first thing and wait an hour before eating or drinking anything that might affect the absorption.  During my pregnancy my daily dose was changed 5 times to meet the increasing demands from my body and from Maddie. Since her birth 2 months ago, my dose has been changed twice as my body readjusts to my “new normal.” Without this one little daily pill, I would slowly go more and more hypothyroid and eventually my mind and body would shut down.  I would be so screwed in a zombie apocalypse scenario.

I have just one more year until I can say I’ve been cancer free for the magical five years = cured mark.  In this upcoming year, I have plans to undergo a whole body scan once my daughter is weaned.  Once again I will have to go hypo on purpose.  Once again I will have to take some RAI and go into isolation for a short time – this time from my husband and daughter – to protect them from my radioactive self.  Hopefully this time nothing shows up on the scan in my thyroid bed or in my lungs.

If I think on it too long, it terrifies me. So I try not to let my mind go there.  I have a long life ahead of me – including seeing my great-grandkids grow up – and I'm positive there are many adventures awaiting me!

Birthday Update: Two Months!

Happy birthday to our little princess! I can’t believe you have been here for 2 months already – time has gone so fast and yet I almost can’t remember a time when you weren’t here with us.  It seems you have always been a part of us.  We can’t wait to see what adventures await you!

Birth Deets: 21.5in, 8lbs 12oz 
Prior Month Deets: 9lbs 15oz, 22 inches
Height: 23.5 inches
Weight: 11lbs 13oz
Nicknames: Maddie, Miss M, Hungry Mungry Kiddo, Wobble Head Doll
Exciting Events: This month has been much more laidback than last month!  We are still working on unpacking the house after the move and finding the items we need can be a bit of a challenge. The nursery essentials are all set up but we have some decorating items to do in there yet!  Miss M will be in our room for a while yet so there is no rush on those finishing touches!  Other than that Maddie enjoys visiting with her grandparents and watching the tractors pass back and forth on our road! 
What She Does: Sleeps through the night!! Wow this is a big one for mommy and daddy!  Miss M has been consistently sleeping 7-8hrs at night (which is a HUGE deal) for a couple weeks now. She has good head control and likes to look all around but does still wobble a bit.  She tries to sit on her own but because of the wobble she tends to lurch forward or to the side pretty quickly. She also enjoys standing up while mommy or daddy hold her under her arms – she actually prefers this more often than not! She likes tummy time (most of the time) and has fun on her play mat.  Miss M is a bit of a chatterbox – especially when she first wakes up!  She gets her “morning person” personality from her daddy so her morning chats are a bit exhausting for mommy!  Most of all she smiles and smiles and smiles at us which melts our hearts every time.  But then you see her smiling, laughing and talking to the living room ceiling fan or the bedroom “nipple light”… guess she is just making it clear we aren’t as special as we think!

Birthday Update: One Month!

Wow… how time has flown since Miss M made her debut in this world!  I can’t believe she’s already a month old.  My little peanut has definitely put on weight (official Peds weigh in on Monday!) and is sleeping and eating her way through most days.  She is our joy and… our frustration in those times when she just cries for no reason we can discern at 2am. Mostly she just fills the days with joy and love and a feeling of complete wonder at the awesome miraculous creation that she is!

Birth Deets: 21.5in, 8lbs 12oz (7lbs 14oz when leaving hospital, 8lb 2oz at Peds 3 days later)
Height: 22 inches
Weight: 9lbs 15 oz
Nicknames: Maddie, Princess Peepants, Grunty McGrunterson, Miss Me, Hungry Mungry Kiddo
Exciting Events: Aside from the very exciting event of her birthday, Maddie had many visitors from Michigan! The very first weekend she was home, Grammy & Grampy K made an impromptu trip to see their granddaughter.  About a week later, Great Aunt Pat & Great Uncle Jim arrived with cousins Jessa, Eli & Erin.  One day later, Grammy and Grampy K showed up with Aunt Katie and cousin Collin! While they were visiting, Maddie had a Skype date with Great Grandpa Slagter and a few other Great Uncles back in Michigan. She also made the move with mommy & daddy into their very first house!  It made for a very exciting and exhausting month!
What She Does: cries, sleeps, eats, pees/poops… that’s pretty much the run of things these days. Tummy time includes her being able to move her head from side to side and push herself up (head/chest) with her arms. She smiles mostly just randomly but I think I’ve caught her smiling back at me or daddy a time or two. And recently she’s taken to standing up when you hold her, supporting her whole body weight on those tiny little feet!  She has a pretty set internal schedule and let’s us get to bed sometime around 10/11pm gets up around 1:30/2am and then sleeps until around 5/6am – those 3-4hr stretches of sleep can work wonders for mommy & daddy!

Mommy update: I’m healing well and have lost most of the pregnancy weight – thank you breastfeeding! My pregnancy carpal tunnel is mostly gone with just slight numbness in 2-3 fingers on each hand instead of complete numbness in 4!  My wedding and engagement rings fit once again – yay!  It’s a good thing too because the fake bling started turning my finger green immediately after I gave birth! (totally weird!)  We moved to the new house 3 weeks after Maddie was born which was totally crazy (note to self: never repeat that) and we are still living mostly out of boxes because there is barely enough time in the day for me to eat let alone clean and unpack.  (Needless to say picture updates of the new house will be delayed for a bit!)

Hump Day… Birthday!

Who would have thought that at the same time our Hump Day Bump Day: Week 38 post went live on the blog that we would be in the hospital anxiously anticipating the arrival of our Miss M!?  I’m sure some of you are curious as to the details of her arrival so we thought we would celebrate her 1 week birthday by telling you how she arrived… and maybe have a little bit of cake too!

So grab a piece of cake, a glass of milk or cup of coffee and settle in for the story…

Early in the morning on Wednesday July 17th, {by early I mean around 4am} I woke up for one of my umpteenth nightly bathroom trips. I was doing my business when I felt something… different… happen down there. I went back to the bedroom to wake up the hubs and tell him I thought that my water had just broken.  He asked me something similar to “did you have a big sploosh all over the floor?!” To which I said no and he assumed I was just overreacting.  I went back to bed but got up about a half hour later and felt another small gush.  After about an hour of debating with the hubs and internet researching if it could be that my waters had broken, we decided we should head to the hospital and find out for sure.  So we got dressed and threw the last minute items in the hospital bags just in case and off we went!

We arrived at the hospital, and were directed to the birthing center where I was hooked up to monitors.  I had a contraction here and there but nothing too regular or serious.  I only had a couple that made me pause and start the deep breathing.  The nurse checked me and said she didn’t think my water had broken based on the little amniotic fluid swab test. The doctor came in and did the same test and got the same result but he also checked to see what my dilation was. He said I was at a 3-4 dilation {yay progress!} and then I had another gushing sensation. He said, “looks like you aren’t going home after all!” and then said we would be starting Pitocin because my contractions hadn’t picked up and it had been almost 3hrs since I had felt the initial break.

I was not happy.  Well… happy {and excited!} to know we would finally be meeting our sweet baby sometime soon, but not happy to be starting out with Pitocin.  Since I knew it wasn’t common for waters to break before labor started, this was a scenario I hadn’t even thought through! Also, I had heard contractions that come with Pitocin are especially horrible.  But… I knew there were risks if we kept waiting for labor to start on its own and so we proceeded and moved to our birthing room… with a view!

Once the Pitocin was started, things got going pretty quickly.  At first I was able to breathe through the contractions and rest between them, but they soon went from bearable to coming at me hard every couple of minutes and lasting what seemed like forever. This was around 11am and I hadn’t been checked for dilation progress since about 7am so we thought we still had hours of labor ahead of us and I told my husband I needed the epidural.

Shortly after, I was contracting through the epidural insertion process and begging the nurse to turn off the Pitocin. {she said no btw}  As soon as it took effect I was feeling much better and the nurse came in to check my progress again.  Her eyes got really big and she said “I think she’s complete! Hang on let me check again… ok, now Christina push a little I want to see if I can feel the head… oh.. STOP pushing and don’t do that again! This never happens that fast with a first baby!”  Apparently what none of us suspected was that when I was in the midst of the contractions that wouldn’t stop, I was actually in the transition stage of labor.  If I had known, would I have stuck to our original plan and not gotten the epidural? I can’t honestly say, but it might have been easier to hold off a little longer knowing we were almost there.

Then the nurse told us that the doctor was in a c-section and we had to wait until they were done or close to it to start pushing. Now if I hadn’t had an epidural at this point I think I would have been one furious laboring pregnant lady, but since I had it and was no longer feeling the contractions at all I said ok!  We waited around for about an hour and a half before the nurse came in and said we were going to start pushing.  I pushed for about an hour and our Little Miss was welcomed into the world at 2:03pm. 

From waters breaking to her birth we had about 10 hours and just 7 hours from the start of actual Pit induced contractions. What a whirlwind of a day!  In the end we got to meet this sweet little face… and I wouldn’t change a minute of the experience for the world.

Happy one week birthday Miss Madeline!