Saturday Seven

Trying something new today… the Saturday Seven. Just seven random things I’ve been thinking about this week most of which would not make up an entire blog post by themselves but are worth sharing or at least I think they are!  Link up if you want to play along!

One. In honor of ones, I realized its been a while since I’ve done an update to my 101 in 1001 list.  So here are a few items I’ve crossed off and some I’m still working on… 

• lose 25 lbs – sorry to say I’m still in the working on it phase
• Pay off car & credit cards – working on it! Only 4 more car payments!
• Go to a live musical – tickets bought for Beauty & The Beast at the Barter next week!
• Local restaurants – new one to add: Cranberry Thistle, Jonesborough, TN
• Create a calendar to track birthdays – downloaded a template to help me do this… just haven’t filled it out yet!
• Grow my hair 5in below my shoulders – currently at 4 inches
• Get a massage & get a pedicure – done on Feb 19th in Gatlinburg!
• Send mail to someone once a month – April, May, June: check!
• Read a book starting with every letter of the alphabet – new letters claimed: Bountiful Container, Outlive Your Life.
• Read a book in one day: The Final Summit
• Read 101 books – new to add: Wasted, The Secret, Grits Guide To Life, 33 Ways to Tell Your Fortune (that makes 17)
• Watch 26 movies {alphabet} & 10 classic movies I’ve never seen– working on this with help from Netflix

Two. I slept in until 8am for the first time in months. Yes, I said months. And yet I’m still exhausted… maybe it takes more than one night to get rid of sleep deprivation?
Three.  My horoscope for today reads: “Your house of career is undergoing a slow and profound change as you shift from one way of working to another.  You’ll have great potential and options as Uranus in your house of self combines with Jupiter in your house of money to bring a delicious set of planetary helpers.  Venus and the Sun in your house of words could help you write your future.”  This is more scary true than you know… more to come.
Four.  Remember the apartment debacle?  I still haven’t heard boo from the management company after they swore they would “get on it” to “rectify the situation.”  This weekend will be devoted to formulating the next line of attack.  I gave them ample time to fix things. They chose not to. Now it’s on.
Five.  Stress has been crazy lately… combined with the sleep deprivation and you get my body attacking itself… again. You can read more about that here, here, and here. Last night I noticed my parotid was pulling one of these again.  And the other symptoms of Sjogren’s are back as well… dry eyes, dry mouth, aching joints, brain fog, dry skin, fatigue.  Must manage stress to prevent flares.
Six.  My plan for this weekend is to nap and to heal… and to clean my house and do laundry. Sigh…  where did the maid go? 
Seven.  I made good on my promise.  I have tests and an endo appointment scheduled for early July.  Praying that the fears are all in my head and I get only good news.

And Then He Said Stop

This week went into major fast forward mode starting on Tuesday.  My mind has been racing, my body has been racing.  There is so much to do, so many things to take care of, wrap up or begin.  The list is growing by the moment and certain things are just too much to think about right now and give me total anxiety.  One thing is: I don’t know where I’m going to live yet.  But things are moving in a direction so that I know I will have someplace to live.  I just hate the not knowing thing right now!  Another thing is when am I going to find time to pack in this busy holiday season?  It has to be done, so it will be… I just need to start!

But the main thing giving me anxiety is health related.  I need to find new doctors which doesn’t just mean a PCP or OBGYN or dentist… for me that also means a new Rheumatologist and Endocrinologist and possibly a new Surgeon. It means telling every little detail of the past 2 years all over again.  What if I forget an important piece?  Can I keep my current Endo & Rheumy with my new insurance?  Can I schedule the appointments when I will be able to make the trek home?  And at the last Endo appointment they said at the next appointment [coming up in Feb] we need to schedule my 1 year follow-up scans.  Which means I have to go on the LID again… and go hypo again… this time 700 miles away.  Or will my new insurance pay for Thyrogen?  Will there be any Thyrogen available?  Should I try to get into a new Endo down there to start them out with a bang or should I try to get in with my current Endo before I leave… but then I still wouldn’t have time to schedule the LID, going hypo and my scans… 

It’s just too much to think about right now on top of everything else.  I have too many other things that absolutely have to get done in the next 30 days.  And please, spare me the lectures on the importance of the 1 year scan – I Know – but I also know my TG levels have been undetectable which is a really good signal that my cancer is still gone.

So in the midst of all this too much to do anxiety, I decided to start packing this morning. As I ate my IKEA cinnamon roll, [I managed to squeeze in a trip yesterday to buy me some lovely new curtains for the yet to be named living space] I started to feel that familiar tightening on the left side of my face.  My jaw started feeling stiff, the place where my jawbone curves up below my ear started swelling. [similar to this]  Seriously?!

In the midst of the do I/don’t I in relation to Sjogren’s Syndrome, it sure seems like my symptoms fit the bill.  Symptoms are aggravated by stress and in the last 2 weeks my skin has gotten so dry that it cracks, my hair has been falling out in massive amounts, my hands have hurt so much I could barely  make a fist and well… now my face is blowing up again.

So I’m taking it as a sign that today, I need to just stop.  Meditation, movies, cleaning, writing, scrapbooking… I don’t know what exactly I will do yet but I need to clam my body and mind.  I’m starting with blogging and lots of fluids to jump start my parotid back into action. Hopefully the facial disfigurement is short lived.