Forgiveness

These past few weeks I've really been struggling.  There has been an enormous amount of stress in my life, at times becoming too much to bear.  I’m working on reducing some of that stress but only time will tell if, when, and how that will be done.  There are a few people in my support system who have really been there for me recently and through the past year and a half.  I can’t thank you enough.  Others have only contributed to my current state of mind and I find myself withdrawing from them.

It’s commonly said that cancer can help you define who your true friends are.  The ones who will be there for you through anything no matter how difficult that thing is.  There have been times through my treatment course that I have felt completely abandoned by those I never expected it from.  That hurts more than I could ever express.  I thought I had forgiven…

Recent events have brought all that hurt and anger to the surface again.  People who weren’t there for me have been more than eager to be a full fledged support group for someone else, for something that is not a health/life threatening situation.  Where were they when I was too weak and sick to dust or run a vacuum?  Too tired and confused to make a complicated LID meal?  My mom reminds me that some people just can’t handle this kind of thing…  That doesn’t make it hurt any less.

I thought I had forgiven… I learned I still have a long way to go.