Decisions

Something has been on the back of my mind since this whole mess started. The RAI that I have to get could potentially kick me into menopause - not likely but still a possibility. What does that mean, well you all know what menopause is [i think?] but being I have no children at this point in my life, it could also potentially mean that having children would no longer be an option.

I've been trying not to really think about it much because who likes to focus on the negatives? This past weekend at the 3 Day, my Aunt was working on the medical crew with some Oncology nurses who told her to tell me to freeze my eggs ASAP.

I did some reading on this when I first heard of this as a possible side effect. I found that it is very expensive [about $10,000] to harvest the eggs and then you have to pay to keep them frozen as well as pay for the implantation procedures. Also, there is only a 2-4% chance that a frozen egg will result in a live birth. If you freeze a fertilized egg the percentage is much greater, but then there is that little problem of not having a someone around to fertilize the egg... Yes, I could use an anonymous donor or ask a friend to do the honors but that just feels wrong to me. If I was engaged or in a serious relationship talking about marriage, then maybe it would be a discussion to have. If I was married it would be an obvious discussion to have. Being single, its my decision alone to make.

My decision when I first did some research and even now after the well meaning warnings from the oncology nurses is to let go of this worry and put it in God's hands. If i'm meant to be a biological mother, I will be. If that is not possible, adoption is always an option. If i'm not meant to be a mother in any way, then there must be another mission for me out there...

I'm at peace with this decision and am not worried about what the future may or may not bring.